Students blog

Maintaining integrity and staying true to yourself may seem like something our parents would tell us as children, however I learned that even at a college age, I am still being tested on that. No matter your age – doing the right thing can be difficult for anyone, especially if it means risking something desirable. I would like to share two similar yet different experiences that I’ve had, one from high school and one from college, and what I learned from them.

The Time I Won “King”

It was my senior year in high school when I decided to run for Homecoming King – just for the fun of it. Considering that I was homeschooled until the 11th grade, I felt that I had no chance of winning that title. Unlike the rest of the Homecoming Court, I was no football captain or class president. In fact, as someone who was relatively new to the school, it was hard for me to find friends in general (especially coming in as an upperclassman). Thus, I started by sitting with those who sat alone at lunch. I found that most of them did not want to be alone either, so I decided to sit with someone new every lunch period to keep them company. To my surprise, I won the title of “Homecoming King,” and realized it was because many saw me as an underdog for being different: the only minority, the first band member, a new student, etc. However, I did not allow this new title to change who I was as a person. So, I continued to find people who sat by themselves to sit with. Many were confused as to why I was sitting with them if I was given the title of “king,” but I reminded them that this title doesn’t make me any better than them. We are all royalty in our own way.

The Time I Lost “King”

It is now my senior year in college, and I recently decided to run for Homecoming King again – just for the fun of it. However, things were different this time. My university has 70,000 students and we were not allowed to do any in-person campaigning, only on social media. Unfortunately, we did not have a Homecoming Court director to enforce the rules. Most of the Court followed the rules, but some decided to do in-person campaigning and were even forcing students to vote. I had to make a decision. I knew that I would inevitably lose the running if I relied on my network alone, but if I broke the rules and started forcing people to vote, then I could stand a chance! It was a win or lose situation! If I won, I would be making history, right? I mean, how cool would it be to become my school’s 50th Homecoming King? Who cares if I break the rules if others are doing it too? But I thought to myself... “is this title really worth losing my integrity and not staying true to myself?” I then made my decision – I would much rather lose that title than to lose myself.

We are ALL “Kings” and “Queens”

These are two different, yet very similar stories. Looking back on them now, it’s crazy to see how easy it can be to lose sight of yourself for the sake of things like glory, validation, or recognition. But looking back even further to my high school experience, I’ve realized that those labels don’t even matter! Being given the title of “King” might seem grand, but the truth is that we are all Kings and Queens in our own way. I learned that no matter what or how big the title, it is never worth losing your integrity and not staying true to yourself. Let us all remember that no title will make you more valuable than you already are.

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I attend the University of Central Florida, one of the largest higher education institutions in the nation with over 70,000 students. It can be easy to feel lost or like you’re just a number at a university this size. The easiest way to avoid this is to get involved or to participate on purpose. I like this phrase because it shows that involvement can be much more than you think if you just put your mind to it. Other than joining a typical club or organization, there are tons of simple ways to build and grow relationships on campus that you may not have thought of.

Get involved

The most simple and obvious way to grow relationships on campus is to get involved. This can include joining clubs, organizations, or finding a niche. Involvement brings such a strong sense of self-belonging and community. Personally, I couldn’t imagine going through college without getting involved in at least one thing. I joined the Marching Knights and became a College of Business ambassador. I’ve met most of my closest friends within these two organizations – organizations that turned into families.

Involvement doesn’t always have to be campus led and can be student initiated with those who share common interests. For example, I ended up creating a small group that plays volleyball on campus every week. Sometimes, others nearby may ask to join in which allows for an opportunity to meet new friends. It doesn’t have to be anything complex, just a gathering for people to meet.

Step outside of your comfort zone

This technique of relationship building is most definitely the hardest, but in my opinion, the most rewarding. I want to specifically focus on how to use this diverse method to meet and talk with new people. This can include introducing yourself to a classmate that you’ve never spoken to before or even purposely inviting others to join an activity that you’re engaged in.

Of course, this can be challenging; many overthink it and let their minds get clouded with doubts, such as “what do I say to this person?” or “what if they don’t want to talk to me?” This happened to me as a freshman. During the first few weeks, everyone in the dining hall sat alone because they were brand new and didn’t know anyone. When these doubts clouded my mind, I reminded myself that most other students here are experiencing the same thing. They all wanted to make friends but didn’t want to risk rejection. I initiated a conversation with the guy in line behind me and asked to sit with him afterwards. He was delighted by my request, and we both made a new friend – all because I stepped out of my comfort zone.

Keep your head up

When walking or biking around campus, I always see friends and acquaintances. Usually when I attempt to speak or wave, they don’t notice me because they are staring at their phones or have their headphones blasting. I purposefully differentiate myself from “the campus zombies” and walk with my head up, making myself approachable. It makes a huge difference – priming a way to strengthen relationships. I encourage other college students to also keep their heads up while migrating across campus – it creates an opportunity to “catch up” with your peers.

I’ve asked a few people what they do on their phones while walking and I was shocked by the responses. Many feel socially uncomfortable if they aren’t doing what everyone else is doing, so they just swipe left and right on the home screen or even type random letters in their notes. If this sounds like you, it’s totally fine to not do what everyone else is doing. Keeping your head up makes you stand out and gives you the opportunity to socialize with others, overall strengthening relationships.

I hope you now realize that building strong relationships on campus can be much easier than you might have originally thought. Just by making some small adjustments and by participating on purpose, you can have a more meaningful and impactful college experience.

University of Central Florida student Jaylen Brown didn’t expect his Spring break to last for more than a few days. Once school was cancelled, he soon realized the impact went beyond just books and classes and impacted the social and community aspects of education. Hear his unique perspective on peer reactions, dealing with the abrupt transition to online learning, and the importance of staying positive in an uncertain time.

Tell us a little bit about yourself

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What is the sentiment from your friends?

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How are your courses changing?

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What tools are you using to help you get through the rest of the semester?

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What is your advice for other students?

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This past week, I flew from my university in Orlando to my family’s new home in San Angelo, Texas for spring break. I was expecting to spend no more than five days here; however, little did I know that I wouldn’t be going back at all this semester. The COVID-19 outbreak hit me hard and was unexpected. As a student, I’m confused and struggling to see what will happen next. Because my family just moved to Texas this past year, this will impact me socially, as I don’t know anyone. It will also affect me in my studies, as I’ll be learning online for the rest of the semester. I realize that many other students are experiencing the same thing I am going through.

Social Impact

If you have been feeling as if you are alone in this, know that you aren’t. This is only my second time being at my new home in a different state. Unfortunately, I am already feeling lonely and miss my friends so much. I’ve also seen that others have started to feel symptoms of depression and anxiety because of being quarantined. Although I’m not physically near my friends, I have been constantly keeping in contact with them via FaceTime, phone calls, texting, and social media. I strongly encourage everyone to consistently reach out to friends and loved ones. This is vitally important during a pandemic like this.

Educational Impact

When I got the news that the rest of my semester courses would be online, I was flabbergasted. No more classes at campus or face-to-face interactions with professors and peers. As students, this will be one of the most difficult transitions; however, we should still continue to do our best to achieve greatness.  Continue to reach out to your professors if you’re struggling because they’re along for the ride with you as well. Luckily, Pearson has provided many online resources for students to use that will allow us to adjust more smoothly as well.

What’s next?

It’s hard to determine what’s coming next or what to expect. The whole world is in panic mode and it seems like I’m hearing more and more negative news every day. Despite this, I still encourage everyone to take a deep breath and to stay positive, optimistic, and strong. We’re all in this together!