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  • Two hands with the top hand wearing a diamond ring on the ring finger.

    Being a Good Spouse and a Good Student

    Faith Castagnoli

    I’m an undergrad business student, and my husband is about to start his second year of law school. We’re newlyweds, and one of the things I’ve been thinking about is how we balance the time and effort we’re able to give to each other with the time and effort we both must put into our schoolwork.

    Both keeping good grades and being a good spouse require time, effort, and care. Staying on top of both at the same time can be hard to manage, especially when big projects are due or when finals are in full swing. Here are the things we’ve done to make sure that we’re not neglecting one in favor of the other.

    Keeping a schedule

    One of the things that’s helped the most is having a set schedule throughout the day. For example, we usually spend our mornings and parts of our evenings together, but we keep things flexible so that we don’t feel pressured to choose between getting an assignment done and spending time together. During the time that we dedicate to homework, we often work on things in the same room, which also helps us stay connected.

    Giving each other space when it is needed

    Something that’s critical to maintaining a healthy relationship with both each other and your obligations is giving each other space when it is needed. Giving each other space to unwind after a long day of classes or after finishing an assignment is important to ensure that spending time together doesn’t feel like another chore.

    Remembering to show the other that you care

    Often, it’s easy to get caught up in your own worries and forgo your obligations as a spouse. That’s why it’s so important to do little things here and there even in the busiest of times. You can make an extra portion of breakfast; you can clean up that mess you both made in the living room, or you can tackle that small stack of dishes sitting by the sink. Even just brewing enough coffee in the morning for the both of you means something. Taking even just a few minutes out of your day to show your other half that they matter to you speaks volumes.

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